TriplePundit • New Yorkers Keep Loneliness at Bay with Life Story Club

Loneliness and social isolation are on the rise, especially among older adults. It’s part of a well-documented epidemic of loneliness and isolation in the United States. Loneliness isn’t just a feeling. It’s a health crisis. Research shows it can raise the risk of dementia, heart disease and early death. For many older people, it’s a silent epidemic that peaks during the holidays when everyone is celebrating with their loved ones.

But every one of us has stories to share and, through those stories, the ability to connect with another human being. That simple yet profound exchange can make all the difference.

In New York City, a nonprofit organization called Life Story Club gathers older adults (60 years and older) online and in person to share their cherished memories, joys and gratitudes. It’s a weekly gathering where small groups have real conversations and leave with friends that become family. In an aging country — one in six Americans is an older adult — the stories of older people are an untapped resource for fighting loneliness.

Finding chosen family through storytelling

At his first Life Story Club meeting, Bernd, 83, listened as others shared memories of celebrations with their families. On his turn, he admitted he wished he had those kinds of relationships. He immigrated from Germany to the U.S. when he was young, never married, and often felt the weight of having no family of his own.

Bernd was sitting beside Yvonne, another member. “I leaned over and whispered to her, ‘Oh man, I’m so jealous about all your family stories. I don’t have anything like this,’” he recalled. “She said, ‘We can be your family.’”

Afterward, Yvonne wrapped him in a long hug. “That was very powerful and meaningful for me,” Bernd said.

The feeling was mutual. Yvonne, 67, is from Harlem, New York. She comes from a large family, but she and her siblings are not close. It’s something she regrets. When Bernd opened up to her, it made a deep impression. “I wish I’d known him all my life because he’s just a wonderful, phenomenal person,” Yvonne said. “He is really more of a brother than a friend.”

Their paths in life are very different, but that is an aspect of Life Story Club Yvonne said she enjoys most. “I like the fact that we’re different ages, races, backgrounds,” she said. “I tend to self-isolate, but being in Life Story Club has brought me out of my shell.”

Over 1 million people in New York City are aged 62 to 75, a rapidly growing cohort of the population. And nearly three in 10 adults 65 years or older live alone, according to U.S. Census data.

Story Rx: A form of preventive medicine

Moments like this, when two individuals form a bond and a friendship over a shared story, is what Life Story Club is all about, said Jennifer Wong, the nonprofit’s interim executive director. Founded in 2019, the club pivoted to virtual platforms during the pandemic. It runs over 30 clubs in New York and partnerships in California and Cleveland. Today, its 153 clubs reach over 2,500 older adults.

Within the clubs, the same group of 10 to 15 adults meet in facilitated group storytelling sessions both virtually and in person. A day or two beforehand, they are provided with conversational prompts in case they’d like to prepare a story.

“Some give it some good thought, others just fly by the seat of their pants, and others might just listen,” Wong said. “What I love about storytelling in community is that you don’t have to share a story at all. Active listening is important, too.”

Partnerships with community centers, religious institutions and senior groups help get the word out. Medical professionals, hospitals, and clinics also refer older adults at risk of loneliness and isolation who may benefit from community engagement to the Life Story Club through its Story Rx program. A therapist at New York’s Institute of Family Health first referred Bernd to Life Story Club.

An impact measured in data and smiles

Medical professionals are paying attention to the impact of these kinds of programs. Research shows that loneliness and social isolation pose a health risk equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes per day.

“We know that this initiative is making a difference,” Wong said. “Our data shows that.”

Life Story Club regularly measures participant well-being and finds that every participant feels a sense of community and experiences an improved mood: 96 percent feel supported by fellow members, and 68 percent report a decrease in loneliness.

With 2 million homebound adults in the U.S., 1.5 times the number in nursing homes, Life Story Club has the potential to reach many more people. That’s part of the longer-term vision, Wong said. But it faces some challenges, particularly overcoming ageism and securing sufficient funding.

Philanthropic and government resources for older adults are very limited, Wong said. Less than 2 percent of philanthropic funding goes toward older adults. Most of that available funding is directed toward basic needs like meals, transportation and housing, leaving little for community programs like Life Story Club.

By raising awareness about the positive health impacts of social connection, along with changing perceptions of older adulthood, Wong said she is confident these challenges can be addressed.

“Ageism is in all of us,” she said. “We have to combat what that means and how we move our philanthropic dollars, but also our dollars across city and state and federal spending.”

While Life Story Club is fulfilling a particularly important need during the holiday season, the period after the holidays can be the hardest, Wong said. “That might be related to the cheer around the holidays being over, taking down decorations and so on,” she added. “The fact is, we need to connect and share stories all year round.”

To help meet a little of that need, a digital story library preserves participants’ stories (with permission), making them accessible for reflection and broader sharing.

The value of learning from others

Bernd said he tries to never miss a Life Story Club meeting. “This is a wonderful initiative to bring people out of their social isolation and reconnect to some meaningful conversation and communication,” he added.

At first, he was shy around his almost all-women storytelling group. But what he learned by listening to the women’s stories even opened up his understanding of his own mother, he said.

“Meeting these women, how they struggle with similar issues, made me realize that my mother has gone through the same things,” he said. “This group helped me make a very close emotional connection with my mother, even though she is dead. That was a revelation, coming to understand who my parents were, in particular, my mother.”

Both Bernd and Yvonne speak of a sense of safety in sharing about themselves in Life Story Club. “Sharing who I am freed other people to talk about things they had to go through,” Bernd said.

And Yvonne said she regrets not meeting Bernd earlier in her life. “I just wish I would have known him because he would have been a great friend for me, someone I really would have been able to talk to,” she added. “I just feel so close to him.”

Yvonne acknowledges a tendency to keep to herself, so the option to attend sessions virtually is helpful. “I stay in the house and don’t go out,” she said. “What I like about Life Story Club is that I don’t have to go out, but I feel like I’m out. I’m in my own apartment, I’m comfortable and I’m talking to other people. We all have stories that we can share, whether good stories or bad stories. For me, just listening to other people’s stories, I don’t feel so bad about myself and what I went through.”

If you’d like to try a storytelling prompt with an older adult in your life this holiday season, here are a few favorites that spark lively conversation at Life Story Club:

• Is there anyone from your past who you wish you had thanked more?
• Can you share a story about a rocky beginning that turned out well?
• Can you share a story about the first time you tried something?
• What is a holiday tradition from your childhood that you still think about or try to continue today during this time of year?
• Can you share a story about a place you’ve lived or stayed that truly felt like home?